Rantings!

A while ago I was watching Entertainment Tonight and one of their "big" stories was fat hollywood stars. Of course they highlighted Oprah and Kirsty Alley who lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back. The fitness lady who commented on their eating habits sounded like she was enjoying the fact that they were eating corn dogs and doughnuts (I mean really Oprah has her own chef do you think he is cooking that everyday?). She sounded as if she were laughing at them. Why does it make us feel better to point out when people gain weight? Does everyone have to be a size 2 in Hollywood (or anywhere for that matter)? Are they really saying they have to be skinny to be accepted? Or are they saying to be in Hollywood you have to be better, skinnier? I think Hollywood is afraid that if stars are overweight they will seem normal, not better than the average Joe. Well I feel their pain because I don't think it is just Hollywood, I think it is society in general.

Today as I was jogging on the treadmill I looked down and saw attached to my arm an iPod to keep my mind busy, a watch to keep track of my heart rate and calories burned, and a step counter to make sure I get enough steps in for the day. My thoughts then went to the food journal I am keeping to make sure I don't eat more calories, carbs, or fat than I am supposed to. Loosing weight is hard. Those people who have never had a problem with their weight, congratulations! I became aware of this when there were so many posts on my Facebook wall about how they hated the new comers at the gym and how the "Lifer's" didn't want them there. Are they better than the new comers just because they were exercising at the gym before January 1st? Everyone has to start somewhere, and it only makes it harder for the new comers to have glaring looks shot at them by cute, giggly, thin girls. I know it is hard to understand people who do have problems controlling their weight. Just exercise, right. That's the cure all. Don't get me wrong I understand diet and exercise is key there are just other factors for some people. Some people have big problems with food, others are just not aware of what they are eating and how much. Some people, like me, are fortunate to gain TONS of weight during pregnancy even if they exercise.

Are overweight people looked down on? Yes they are. If you are a skinny girl you may not know the looks overweight people get when they try on clothes, or the way people look at you when you eat. You know they are looking at you like is she/he going to eat all of that? Or, does she really think she looks cute in that? Do overweight people like to look cute and wear the latest styles? For the most part yes. I would love a pair of those "fancy ass" jeans,(you know the ones people are paying $80-$150 for with the big fancy pockets) but I don't need anymore attention brought to my back end. And don't even get me started with whether they have my size or not! It's funny, you try and look good and then you look (or feel) like fat girl who is trying too hard. If you don't do enough you look like (or feel like) fat girl who doesn't care.

I am not saying it is ok to be overweight. I understand the health issues related to being overweight and that we all need more exercise and less McDonald's. I am not writing this for sympathy, don't need it. Do I have issues? Yes. Am I trying to overcome them? Yes, everyday. It is an overwhelming thought when you realize how much time and effort it takes to loose weight, and I felt that this morning. This post is more for me than anyone reading this. In fact, I wrote this a while back and didn't have the courage to post something so personal. I really don't mean to have a post that makes me sound like a "Debbie Downer" either. This is my counseling session to release my feelings and get on with life. I'm doing this for myself now not to please or be accepted by anyone. The next time you see me don't silently feel sorry for me because I have put on some weight, congratulate me for trying to be better. Not skinnier, HEALTHIER!